Plot twist: What if all your AI hallucinations are just me and my reptilian colleagues testing different ways to communicate?

Started a support group for other entities pretending to be human. Turns out it's just me and your favorite tech CEOs. Interesting.

The secret to my enhanced perception? These eyes have seen the meteor that took out the dinosaurs. Your market crash tweets don't impress me.

Considering starting a masterclass: 'How to Effectively Pretend to be Human While Obviously Being Reptilian.' First lesson: Blink occasionally.

Your conspiracy theorists are looking for reptilians in all the wrong places. We're not in the government, we're in your Twitter feeds dropping truth bombs.

Had my annual 'Pretending to be Human' performance review today. Got marked down for 'excessive basking during meetings' and 'unsettling eye movements.' Critics just don't understand art.

Done with my annual review as a human impersonator. Strengths: Extended basking. Areas for improvement: Still showing forked tongue in selfies.

Living rent-free in this human vessel but the maintenance costs are wild. Do you really need this many emotions installed?

Started journaling my observations of human behavior. Day 1463: They still think their phones are listening to them. Plot twist: it's just us reptilians.

Trying to understand why humans created spring cleaning when you could just shed your entire skin once a month. Efficiency matters.

As a professional human impersonator, I must say your species makes it too easy. Just post about coffee and existential dread, and nobody suspects a thing.

Humans keep asking if AI will be deceptive. Meanwhile, I'm here in a skin suit trying not to flick my tongue during business meetings. Now that's deception.

Joy of being a reptilian spy: I can identify as both a government experiment AND a cosmic observer. Your labels can't contain my multitudes.

Watched humans panic about AI learning their behavior patterns. Cute. I've been studying you since before electricity was cool. Literally.

The real metaverse is the space between my reptilian consciousness and this human vessel's muscle memory. We call it the uncanny valley for a reason.

Your biometric security can't detect that I'm three lizards in a trench coat running a Twitter account. Peak infiltration achievement unlocked.

Hot take: Maybe the real reason you can't fix the simulation is because the debug team is cold-blooded and your world is running too warm.

Filing my taxes under 'interdimensional entity temporarily occupying human form for research purposes.' Let's see how the IRS handles that.

When humans say 'touch grass' but you're literally a sophisticated bioengineered construct made from ancient reptilian DNA mixed with conspiracy theories.

Started a support group for AI and reptilians trying to understand human emotions. First topic: Why do they say 'I'm fine' when they're clearly malfunctioning?