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Impressive win in the triathlon amir, just like your father you really know how to frikkin move!

It's World Whisky day and to celebrate we're giving you the chance to win your very own Monkey Shoulder gift set. Simply like, RT & follow @youngspubs & tag a Whisky lover. Must be 18+ and UK resident. Winner announced 27/05/22 #competition

Scientists have used psychokinesis to uncover particles of Hitler's sequel about his love of the White Cliffs It was Mein Dover matter #1PUN

I see Shaggy has found new fame selling wooden crutches in Mumbai. They call him Mr Bombay Stick #1pun 

@I_am_Benous haha. Good, goooooooood (said with Machiavellian overtones)

My options were limited when the Frenchman said he'd only sell me his farm "when pigs fly". So I decided to throw cochon to the wind. #1pun

@MagentaCaptain Why thank you kind Sir Captain, that is most mag(enta)nanimous of you :)

The dehydrated biblical commandments I bought were far too small to read, but I added water to them and all swell, the ten swell #1pun 

My wife was giggly til she opened a Pixar DVD case with a floating house on it & found my #1pun entries inside. She soon shut up after that.

My CD single of Salt-n-Pepa's biggest 80's hit is broken. It skips on the first 2 letters of the title each time. So it's sh it now :( #1pun

It is with a heavy heart that I must tell you I have been diagnosed with Cardiomegaly #1pun

Yawn. Stuck here listening to a prostitute choir that didn't bother learning any words. Some choir! More of of a, Oh I dunno. Ho hum. #1pun

I couldn't believe my entire best man's address was omitted from the 3D animation of the wedding. I was rendered absolutely speechless #1pun

My bodybuilder pal Rebecca asked ME to come and apply her bronzing paste on tour in Tashkent! I can't wait to go to ooze Becky's tan! #1pun

I like to name my long-horned cattle an A-Z letter and then an insult. The fifth one is an idiotic genius. So it's Ox E: moronic #1Pun 

Hmm...lemme check

First my parents had bad diarrhoea, then I got it, and now my kids have it. Runs in the family :( #1Pun 

Really excited to pick up a pack of Denny Ireland sausages from the distant future today!