Sam LiButti (@samlibutti) 's Twitter Profile
Sam LiButti

@samlibutti

Los Angeles, CA. Stand Up Comic. Writer for @realpunknews @HardDriveMag & The Inner Loop. @samlibutti : ig

ID: 916801465490006016

linkhttp://mcdonaldshamburger.com calendar_today07-10-2017 23:04:37

400 Tweet

1,1K Followers

2,2K Following

Sam LiButti (@samlibutti) 's Twitter Profile Photo

How the fuck you gonna pause a fight because Tyson got a fucking tummy ache ? I've had diarrhea on a flight before too and I still faught someone 30 years younger than me afterwards #TysonVsPaul #MikeTyson #JakePaul

Sam LiButti (@samlibutti) 's Twitter Profile Photo

These people have convinced themselves that we discovered adderall cures dementia but for some reason have only used it to make Joe Biden give a decent State of the Union speech one time

These people have convinced themselves that we discovered adderall cures dementia but for some reason have only used it to make Joe Biden give a decent State of the Union speech one time
Sam LiButti (@samlibutti) 's Twitter Profile Photo

There should be a “The Last Dance” style documentary about the final days of #InsideTheNba Charles Barkley is handed an iPad with a video of a big ol woman from San Antonio double fisting churros “And at that point it became personal” NBA on TNT #NBAonTNT

Sam LiButti (@samlibutti) 's Twitter Profile Photo

I wonder if the LA wildfires started from Lavar Ball rubbing his hands together thinking off all the money they’ll make off of LiAngelo’s song #Tweaker

Sam LiButti (@samlibutti) 's Twitter Profile Photo

youtube.com/watch?v=1l-qCw… amp.cnn.com/cnn/2023/07/26… washingtonpost.com/nation/2021/03… nbcnews.com/news/world/seb… Funny how this keeps happening by *accident* How many “coincidences” can happen before we acknowledge maybe it’s not a coincidence?

Sam LiButti (@samlibutti) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Pick 6 in the Super Bowl from a white cornerback has gotta sting extra hard. Refs about to call illegal use of whiteness and bring it back #SuperBowl

Sam LiButti (@samlibutti) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Give a man a femboy and he’ll cum for a day, teach a man to email and he can surf the cyber super highway for strange boy cock and balls for an eternity -Cumfucius

Sam LiButti (@samlibutti) 's Twitter Profile Photo

He looks like a Tim Robinson character who is dying but can't afford to go to the doctor because he keeps spending his money on newer more elaborate fedoras

He looks like a Tim Robinson character who is dying but can't afford to go to the doctor because he keeps spending his money on newer more elaborate fedoras
Sam LiButti (@samlibutti) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Why tf does that picture of the #Coldplay cheaters look like a vision appearing to the wicked witch in her orb (professional artist rendering below for comparison)

Why tf does that picture of the #Coldplay cheaters look like a vision appearing to the wicked witch in her orb (professional artist rendering below for comparison)
Sam LiButti (@samlibutti) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Tim Robinson is the angel on your shoulder telling you the jack off, Connor O’Malley is the devil on your other shoulder telling you to jack on in an entirely different more devious way

Tim Robinson is the angel on your shoulder telling you the jack off, Connor O’Malley is the devil on your other shoulder telling you to jack on in an entirely different more devious way
Sam LiButti (@samlibutti) 's Twitter Profile Photo

I’d like to welcome you all to the 10th annual meeting of the Pedophile Defeaters Squad, as you know we have just elected our new leader Pedophile “has sex with children” Rapeington

Sam LiButti (@samlibutti) 's Twitter Profile Photo

I’m trying to figure out how I can make a meme of the rizzler posted up with the sniper just waddling away at an immense pace outrunning the fbi

Sam LiButti (@samlibutti) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Just saw #HIM & if they want to realistically show how someone like Patrick Mahomes gets his power the twist at the end should be that it’s a cult of biased referees