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my advisors and collaborators have somehow confused me for someone who “knows physics” — very sad news for them

*chef's kiss*

We are proud to publicly announce the MIT Graduate Student Union! MIT grad student-workers are unionizing to create a healthy and fair working and learning environment for all, by giving us a voice in the decisions that affect us. (1/4) #MITGSU

people say “fermilab is in chicago” which is true at some length scale, but really it’s West Of Chicago™️ which turns out to be the worst place in the world

the coronavirus has taken hold of our institutions

My first article for ParticleBites on CMS's new measurement of the Higgs width & lifetime! This was a lot of fun to write, and I hope it's at least 50% as fun to read particlebites.com/?p=9597

anterograde amnesia but restricted specifically to recalling the behavior of references/pointers for more than 9 seconds after googling it

it is my most earnest and desperate wish that everyone please stop wearing clothes with equations on them

I’m at CERN! if any of my 2.5 followers are also here please come speak french at me, fence with baguettes, scoff at things, teach me to drive manual, etc etc

people love to say that LHC experiments “take photos” of collisions, but the photographers among you are probably wondering “what format?”. well, I have it on good authority that ALICE shoots in HEIC (HEavy Ion Collisions)

the food culture here in france really is amazing! I’ve just visited the platonic ideal of a supermarket: 250 brands of yogurt, no basic selection of fresh herbs. one wants for nothing in this sprawling utopia, this garden of eden

“Trained on CelebA, our generative model achieves SOTA image quality and surpasses all other known models in the FID metric” their model:

cms : online DQM is crucial for catching problems with our detectors as soon as possible also cms : here’s the buggiest shittiest website we could possibly build

i won’t defend imperial units, but it has to be acknowledged that the europeans are out here unironically using centiliters

CMS physicists recently completed the first search, at the LHC, for “inelastic dark matter”, looking for muon pairs produced far away from the proton-proton collision point, as if they popped out of thin air. #moriond #cern 👉cms.cern/news/fishing-d…

#CMSpaper soon on arXiv: Search for inelastic dark matter in events with two displaced muons and missing transverse momentum in proton-proton collisions at √s = 13 TeV (CERN-EP-2023-083) cds.cern.ch/record/2859291 #NewPhysics

#CMSpaper: Search for inelastic dark matter in events with two displaced muons and missing transverse momentum in proton-proton collisions at √s = 13 TeV (arXiv:2305.11649) arxiv.org/abs/2305.11649 #NewPhysics

To the bravest and strongest person I had the privilege of knowing - this captures only a little bit of what she did: news.cornell.edu/stories/2023/0…

Today at #ML4Jets, we present the performance of ML-based anomaly detection techniques for extracting potential new physics phenomena in a model-agnostic way with CMS Experiment CERN. Very excited and proud of our team for reaching this milestone! tinyurl.com/57xss2jy!

Do you want to know what CMS Experiment CERN is up to in terms of anomaly detection? Look no further than our note out now! cds.cern.ch/record/2881089… While no results on data (yet), it gives a shape of the things to come...