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Recently I ordered a shower from Triton Showers & paid for installation up front. The shower arrived promptly, then a couple of days later I got a call from Triton to arrange a time for installation. So far so good... During this call I was informed that they don't do

We are now encouraged to use Copilot AI app in work. I prefer to learn and use my brain so I pretend I use it. In my latest 1-2-1 my manager said it's great I'm 'on side' and I'm a role model for my quality of work & embracing the change in a positive way. Guess that was from AI

RIP

Panda loves new toys..🐼🧸😍

"conspiracy theories lack substantiation" - SO @GROK CAN DO #UNDERSTATEMENT TOO

This cunt is basically a cunt. Weak and pathetic. Trump speaks, he obeys. Spineless, lying, agitating cunt. Manipulating the easily led and thinks it makes him a free speech hero. Utter cunt.

More politicians should tell the truth about the utter mess our prisons are in, for prisoners and staff. Years of chronic underfunding, unchallenged tabloid bullshit about "PlayStations and flatscreen tellys", and a public attitude of "fuck 'em".

Mad to think that dogs would love us even more if they cottoned on that we were made of bones.

I just bought a couch from DFS and the salesman said it will easily seat five people with no problems I don't know five people without problems #FridayFuckology

A friend of mine is currently involved in one of those four week drugs trials Or The Tour de France as its more commonly known #FridayFuckology

Last night one of our officers saw a man exit a bar at closing time and get into his car. After observing some erratic driving, he pulled the man over The officer asked the driver, “Where are you going at this time of night?” The man replied, “I’m on my way to attend a lecture

Heard a boy in a bookshop ask his dad what the shelves full of OS maps were. Dad explained that they were used to go places as "there was a time before GPS", and opened a map to show him. Son didn't understand at all. As a map lover it breaks my heart.

First valentine's with my now wife, bought her a mystery game with puzzles and riddles that eventually lead her to a message. It took her all day and finally she opened the YouTube link I set. I rick rolled my wife. Still hasn't forgiven me.

You probably eat a credit card’s worth of plastic every week.

Just landed in Heathrow Airport T3. Went into M&S. Three staff working. I said to them “NICE TO SEE YOU, TO SEE YOU”. None of them responded with "NICE". I have a voice recording & their names to report to M&S. We must confront them every time.

but who will eat who first?

Build it, and they will come.

Deport all the shops who can’t or won’t speak English. Pret A Manger, IKEA, Bureau De Change, DKNY, Bella Italia (which don’t even sell bells) your days are numbered.

When I was a kid, I used to use Arnold Schwarzenegger soundboards to prank call any Sarah Connor I could find in a phone book