🔥The 9th Round of Easy Loan, Earn $40 Reward is in progress❗️ ⏰ Promotion Period: January 15th - Feburary 15th, 2025 👉 Register now and check more details at gate.io/campaigns/358

Every advert in 1999:

I met my wife at a West Side Story fight re-enactment society - we just clicked.

"Hey handsome. Why not come over to my place and eat the fried breadcrumbs I'm covered in?" she said, croquettishly.

I’ve come onto this thread at 100mph in a rage but I’m getting some quite nice bookings actually post-Fringe which feels like progress. Slowly slowly catchy monkey

A vivid dream that [redacted] comedian was in love with me because I could do a somersault underwater. Not mad about it to be honest.

Just a lovely lovely night with the loveliest of funny people Louise Leigh is not here any more Jo Enright Jack Campbell Tal Davies @obrianjules Thanks to everyone Middleton Hall & Gardens for supporting live comedy 🙏

[TIRES SCREECHING] [CAR CRASH] [BUILDINGS FALLING] “GOOD GOD” [EXPLOSION] [BABY CRYING] “WAAAAH WAAAAAH” [YELLING] [POLICE SIRENS] WEE WOO WEE WOO [HELICOPTERS AND NEWS TRUCKS] “…WE’RE REPORTING LIVE FROM THE SCENE-“ [BANG] “MY LEG… MY LEG…”

Huw Edwards' mental state doesn't interest me at all. He's been mentally fit enough to keep the money the BBC paid him for months while he was suspended. The mental state of the abused children should be paramount and Edwards should properly face the consequences of abusing them.

As someone who is quite posh, I get a bit irrationally angry when I meet really posh people who are younger than me, because I can't believe we keep on making them. I thought we'd finished with all that nonsense, but no. We persist.

Excited about this - I love Cardiff!

Designing the Hebrides fanfic? Surely that’s a thing, right?

Happy birthday to the person I would most like to have been in the world

And the moral of the story is... people are as thick as mince

I said to Dick Van Dyke "If you can pop in to your local German Supermarket and pick me up a Toolbox, a Drill and a Doormat, you can pick yourself up a Quiche" He said "Um Lidl Middle Aisle, Yum Lidl Pie" I said "Close enough".

And you can get Disney+ with your Tesco Clubcard vouchers so FILL YOUR SHINY JODHPUR BOOTS

Excited to find this picture from Ancient Rome of a Dad trying to get his kid into the bath

I'm just designing some business cards to hand out at gigs, and it's SO MUCH CRINGE but then I saw this and... well, if Sommer can do this:

This is the best thing I've ever seen.

I am coming to Leicester Comedy Festival on 13th Feb next year and I'm already IMMODERATELY EXCITED to bring this show back in its completed form, having subjected lovely Leicesterians to it in its most chaotic form last year justthetonic.com/leicester-come…