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I can’t believe this needs to me said, but if you smear your shit on the Capitol building you are not a patriot.

Never thought I’d be jealous of a country because their lying, incompetent leader willingly left office, but here we are.

Thoughts and prayers to Brett Kavanaugh for having his steak dinner disrupted. Please respect his privacy during this difficult time. Whats that? I’m hearing privacy is not a protected right…

Doesn’t Brett Kavanaugh know that all protests, no matter how unwanted, inconvenient, or even forced upon you, are a blessing from God

10-year-olds aren’t even allowed to sit in the front seat of a car because it’s unsafe for their small bodies, but conservatives think they should be forced to give birth after being raped.

Looks like Ted Cruz attended Mike Huckabee’s School of “Comedy”™️

Wait til the people who are mad about student debt forgiveness hear what happened in the Bible.

If you want to make getting a gun easier, but casting a vote more difficult, you’re part of the problem.

The Venn diagram of men who can’t find a clitoris and men who want to dictate what women do with their bodies is a circle.

The people who are freaking out about a Black mermaid are the same people who think Jesus was white.

Sounds like an average night in The Challenge house tbh

The world’s gone mad, but we still have Bob Newhart. That’s something.

The same people who are panicked about razors in Halloween candy are a-ok with teachers having guns in the classroom.

Dr. Oz is like the girl from your high school who messages you on Facebook with a great “opportunity” just so she can move up in her pyramid scheme.

I’d rather have a senator recovering from a stroke than a senator operating without a conscience. #PASenateDebate

How bout you let me know when Nick Cannon is *not* expecting a baby.

I don’t know. Maybe we should stop calling men geniuses just because they’re rich.

I’m thankful I didn’t grow up in a home where you had to say what you were thankful for before you could eat.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your kid’s teacher does not need or want a candle for Christmas.

The Elon/Trump feud is really confusing the “enemy of your enemy is your friend” model for me