Just be yourself! (so long as everyone on the internet approves)

(Went on social media) (Got pissed off) The algorithms are working!

I love compliments that are also literal insults. Like: "I can't recommend him enough."

Climate change cons: potential devastation on a worldwide scale, flooding, deforestation, raging forest fires, level-6 hurricanes, rampant electrical storms Climate change pro: *maybe* Canada gets palm trees

In the same way that airbnb lets you filter out apartments without AC, twitter should let you filter out people without empathy

I totally get how we aren’t supposed to prejudge based on race or gender so how the f are people so okay with zodiac signs

Twitter these days

everything is spit-flavoured once you eat it

👉 a repeat

Taxation isn't theft. It's the cover charge for this wicked club called Society

BREAKING: On October 24th, 2018, at 11pm "false flag" became a more popular search than "zucchini" for the first time in human history

The writers always said nobody was safe #GameOfThonesFinale #GOTFinale #GameOfThrones

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New fox, who dis? 🦊

We’ll know we’ve perfected autonomous vehicles when we walk out to our driveways and see they’re gone, off to begin their own lives

The #repeal of #netneutrality is a GREAT WIN for the people . . . . . . . . . . . . . . at the top who stand to profit the most at the expense of nearly everyone else

I’m reading this drug box and a listed side effect is “false sense of well-being”. Talk about cynical packaging.

It’s not dying that’s scary, is it, it’s cresting that hill, then watching the grinding one way decline of your body and mind, while your peers expire around you

THE INTERNET OF EVERYTHING HAS TO STOP

Newspaper sites: if you value your sanity, don’t read the user comments YouTube: if you value your sanity, don’t read the user comments Twitter: hello, I’m entirely user comments