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@DartsBeersCheer Alan tabern didn't know Alan had joined twitworld x used to work with him, he is so funny x

"Lee Tunstall: Add Alan tabern it's Alan Tabern he's got a twitter!"cheers Lee, owe u aglass of kiora!

Having dinner in Lpool, just had "the flaming dragon curry" the bloke looked worried when i ordered. SMASHED IT! Hey curry, u dont know me!

@denisovens your mrs might leave you for "a little puff" lol

Howd you Check the spelling of a Word in the dictionary if you dont know how to spell it!

Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back into a sun in the daytime! Wow.

Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have never been able to make out the numbers!

If someones selling fish that are going "cheap" is that like someone selling birds that are going "bob"

Rainbows are just to look at, Not to understand!

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with little tiny spoons and forks, so I wonder what Chinese mothers use. Toothpicks?

To most people solutions mean finding the answers. But to chemists solutions are things that are still all mixed up.

The wife says: We need to talk. The wife means: I need to complain. The wife says: Sure... go ahead. The wife means: I don't want you to

The wife says: I'll be ready in a minute. The wife means: Kick off your shoes and take an hour nap.

The wife says: Do you love me? The wife means: I'm going to ask for something expensive.

The wife says: How much do you love me? The wife means: I did something today you're not going to like.

What you will never here a woman say! What do you mean today's our anniversary?

The wife says: Do you like this recipe? The wife means: You better get used to it.

The wife says: I need wedding shoes. The wife means: The other forty pairs are the wrong shade of white.

The wife says: I heard a noise The wife means: I noticed you were almost asleep.