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“It’s a trap!”

The most widiculous weason yet

Sponsorship deals are available for our Summer Sex Dwarf-Throwing Festival and Meat Raffle. And we don't give a fuck what Greta and her deranged pals think.

The Bayeux tapestry but it’s just the entire episode of Only Fools & Horses where Del Boy & Rodney dress up as Batman & Robin

This lad is so shit, I'm beginning to think he set his own front door on fire trying to change channels on the telly

Only a council could spend thousands producing a pamphlet telling residents how good they are at reducing waste

Attenborough's voice: Flying ants ascend

'On second thoughts, fuck it. Let the Frogs win'

Sunday Sport He would end up buying a full price sofa at a DFS sale

Quite honestly, that lawn looks like it needs a hose on it for a few hours

The blueberries are particularly plump this year. Possibly because I've been fertilising them with my own filth. Monty Don does not tell you this stuff.

Same.

The corner...

I thought it was. Why do you think I've been shitting on the blueberries?

Carvery tonight. In this heat. Just one crazy dude

This one in/one out thing seems very bureaucratic. Which is the point of it, I suppose. Jobs for the lanyard class.

Home Bargains! Is nothing sacred?