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For Halloween, I’m going as too available (staying home).

An app for when you have to go to a milestone event like a wedding, baby shower, quince, anniversary (anything), etc. Call it “Second Choice”.

Moontower announcements are so cute. Still not on it but it remains cute.

Stop sleeping with non voters.

Gaslighting me isn’t enough I need you to ever so slightly move some of my furniture around my house.

Six word memoir for a broken heart: For sale, emotional real estate, used.

Got rejected, might have a one night stand about it.

I was dating someone for a minute whose pronouns are he/they and it’s like all of them had unrealistic expectations of me.

Whenever I’m in traffic, I look around at other people in traffic and think damn guys we should of carpooled.

I’ve moved from love to anger. Feels right.

Come out before you fight with the fam on Thursday. Got the very funny Raul Sanchez & Davey Jackson & Patrick Christopher wif me too

This is insane

She’s so back (in the trunk).

Girl are your eyes open or are you dead?

What did you get me for women’s history month?

Finally fell in love with a man that’s not afraid of commitment. Yes he’s committed to this whole other relationship.

I fell in love but he fell into the gap.

What’s app is for connecting with your family and cheating on your wife.

How long before a boy texts you when you give him your number? Asking for my carpel tunnel (I keep reaching for the phone)

Can’t wait