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Every girl named tammy smells like potato salad. Don't argue with me!! I said what I said..

Make sure you get really really mad at people on the internet today. It's important

Today is my dad's birthday, he's dead but still..

My social media acquaintance Crusty 🪥🧻🥦 told me "him and his wife are having a hard time getting pregnant," I think it's because she's a dude.

Shit We twinz When it comes to food 😋

There’s always a few of these stashed in my office for when I don’t bring enough for lunch:

Linda

“how’s your weight loss coming along?” I took a nap to avoid eating more food.

I stole this Tweet.

Thinking and driving. Driving and thinking.

The maid calls me a racist even tho im the same nationality as her, even more Hispanic than she can ever be. She's out of touch with her heritage. And yet, im still surrounded by my ppl. I never left them behind.

The Hispanic community don't fuck with you anymore, you are a non factor. Now GO CLEAN THE TOILETS, OR ELSE!!!!

When you're buying flowers for your girl and the lady at the register says "Where can i get a man like you" Me: Right here baby, i cheat

If your name is Jamal and you are Mexican, DM me. Let's figure this out together

Calling someone else's mother a Hoor while being married and talking about squirting into some random's mouth, publicly on the TL is crazy work 😭

Off to the rodeo 🐴 🐂 .. have a great Saturday weirdos.