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the audience was gagged😭

new alt who this Brendan Karet Reject Sheldon, embrace Spencer (Reid).

Dummies think that caring about butterflies is for romantics & bleeding hearts. It’s not. The larvae of butterflies are one of the primary paths by which solar radiation is converted into a living food web, i.e. the ecosystem upon which all life relies. Without them, we are gone

You’re telling me this “mother board” contains “trans sisters”? Fascinating.

This lovely lady said she liked my fit I liked hers so we took a fit pic 💯

NEW: Double Scorpio was subject to an FDA search and seizure. More poppers brands have gone radio silent or shut down entirely. fastcompany.com/91298370/fda-p…

the "dolls" jack on the OG walkman is so cunty I love it

Mike Copeland has been delivering mail in Detroit for 45 years

Me at ER for cardiac issues Dr: “Could you be pregnant?” Me: “No I had a hysterectomy” Dr: “You look too young for that? Are you sure?” Me: “I’m confident” Dr: “I think you might be confused. Maybe it was your appendix.” Proceeds to order pregnancy test /1 🧵

me: why do my antibiotics costs $400 my health insurance company flirting with the cheerios bee on twitter: so what ELSE tastes like honey?? 🍯 🤤

My dad always buy me a raspberry danish, i like them but i never ask him to buy them. Today my mom told him to tell me why he always get it for me. This man buy me the danish because it cost $4.24 and that’s my birthday 😭❤️. He’s so sentimental, it’s so sweet.

All the rumors are TRUE! Congratulations Miss Peppermint. BLACK TRANS LIVES MATTER!! So happy for you guys!!

I did not specify which tampons I needed and he walked through the door and said, "i just got you the sampler pack." 💀

finally read this! didn't want it to end 😭

Lots of people have questions about being in a coma and I have absolutely no issue with answering any of them. I couldn’t hear anything - apparently my brother sat next to me and talked into my ear everyday and I wish I knew what he said. It wasn’t like being asleep, my mind…

Worth remembering (because right now we should all be haunted by a sick feeling in the pits of our stomachs every day) that Salvadoran officials have repeatedly said there are no plans to *ever* release *anyone* from CECOT, and it's unclear they even have a procedure for doing so

Hbomberguy My dad was a Search and Rescue helicopter mechanic, and his advice was "never get in a helicopter unless it's removing you from a worse situation than being in a helicopter"