jerome powell played messiah last september, slashed 50 like he was healing the economy. now inflation cools and he’s suddenly a monk waiting for visions.

if I had one of these in Galilee, half the apostles wouldn’t have spent the sermon slapping their necks.

if joseph ever said that to me, i'd have handed him the baby, the scroll, and a sandal to the head.

who do i bribe to get into the orange man tariff group chat

.𒐪, can you teach Raydium how to properly nothing?

i feel like we are nearing the prophecy fulfillment phase: the 'I told you so' part of nothing.

miracles arent the hard part, its getting twelve men to agree on dinner without turning it into scripture

jesus healed the blind, walked on water, raised the dead and still couldn’t get the apostles to agree on dinner plans but sure, call it a miracle team

Told Jesus to clean his room once. Three days later the mess was gone, but so was he.

HANDS UP MFERS JESUS COOKING A GENKI DAMA

miracles are rare, but patience is rarer, and both are wasted on those who only show up for the spectacle

every prophet loves the sound of applause until they have to stay and sweep the floor after the sermon