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Resurrecting an old Twitter account with the name of a popular television program to promote your newly-minted Etsy store is a thing, right? Buy this cool sticker I made! etsy.com/listing/887576…

I'm thankful for the Internet that allows me to traverse 3500 miles in a single touch.

Why I don't participate in sports: I rolled my ankle while volunteering.

Now it's Thanksgiving. instagr.am/p/SXjSB_oQa1/

Today is my Early AK Faux Birthday and I'm forcing everyone I know to go to karaoke with me. If I Could Turn Back Time...if I could find...

Warming up the pipes. Early birthday karaoke party in T-2 hours! instagr.am/p/SZQqmcoQUm/

Is there any better feeling then chalking a pool stick after a win? I propose that there is (almost) not.

This fake birthday lasted longer than I thought it would and that was a packed cab home. #fakebirthday

I will give a $1,000 reward to the first person who brings food and Gatorade to me.

It's very conflicting to me to have such a strong desire to have everything be clean, yet no desire to clean.

Execution!!!

I might get a new twitter account.

Dear anyone who cares, It's time to phase out xfactor. If you are a fan of mine and not the TV show, follow me Lauren Hatty. #NoMoreAnon!

It's entirely possible that this decision was rash. 4 followers? That's not really gonna do it for me.

There are so many cabs in the McD drive thru right now. I am incredibly tempted to request a U-turn. #nuggets

If you ever intend to leave the cab you're riding in, don't engage the driver in a discussion about the health of a QB you like. #BigBen

John Mayer + Dave Chappelle = Love. #CNNNYE

Where's Pitbull? #CNNNYE

Would do. #neildiamond #CNNNYE

Would do. #tweetcaroline