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sometimes, when in complete and utter disbelief at such doggone unfortunate circumstances all you can utter is "Are you fucking serious?"

Train gets cancelled as I'm waiting at the station. Moments later the train that got cancelled slowly pulls up out of the station, the driver's windows tagged with a penis. Fuck I love Melbourne

Be seeing you soon. #DayZ #DayZFrostline

It finally happened: an elderly lady asked me to grab something from the top shelf for them while I was at Woolies.

the false sun has a golden glow

I looked into that crystal demon and didn't find a shred of cheese. But the Moon isn't whole, and the demon is doing varial flips over infernal spikes. Explain that.

I tried to relocate a daddy long legs spider with a glass and paper. I ended up severing one of its legs. Never felt this amount of guilt in my life

After the games who's hitting up Riverslide? Tryna hit a tre off the manny pad

The Skater’s tricks dealt damage to the Moon.

SLEEP STORY featuring skateboarding

My favorite part about being Filipino bringing home leftover food from family gatherings 😋

It's me. I'm the worst guy tweeting this 🤝

could be us

We call this the "sanrio stare"

A woman like you've never seen A puppet on your fucking strings She tellin' me to "Jump, jump, jump until your fuckin' legs go" But I don't fuckin' play, hoe I'm not your fuckin' play dough Don't know my name Spit in your face Sorry to fuck your day up