hi, grandma? can u come pick me up from my rap battle? it's over. no, i lost. he saw u drop me off & did a pretty devastating rhyme about it

"Can I pet your dog?" Sure, his bark's worse than his bite [dog bites three fingers off] "WHAT THE" [dog barks so hard the sun explodes]

DATE: I'm leaving ME: Why? D: You keep pretending to be a bat M: I don't D: You're doing it right now [a single tear rolls up my forehead]

Street Preacher: JESUS DIED FOR YOUR SINS Me: Thanks for the spoiler warning asshole [tosses bible in the trash]

ME: Who ate my peanut butter MY ROOMMATE KANYE WEST: I was hungry bro ME: Not cool MY ROOMMATE KANYE WEST: Also can I borrow $53 million

Me on SNL the second time amp.twimg.com/v/be768383-64e…

.@ZaraLarsson stopped by the studio and talked growing up in the music industry, Kanye, Trump, Twitter, & more! youtu.be/lho1rTCXnNY

What if one day I wake up and realize that the person behind Zara Larsson is just a robot 🤔

backar Zara Larsson mot politiker som moraliserar över att hon får medicinsk hjälp: dt.se/opinion/ledare…

If I Get 500 Followers Then I will DM Afew of my Fans 🙈❤️